


A Letter of Resignation

by MercurialComet



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Inspired by Twitter, MADBLACKTHOT, Past Relationship(s), Resignation letters, Roasting Goats on an Open Fire, Twitter, Two actual twitter accounts are used, and PettyNegr0, both are funny asf
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 01:59:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14823062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercurialComet/pseuds/MercurialComet
Summary: Mihail Braithwaite is tired of working at Vesuvia Incorporated. This is his resignation later.





	1. The Resignation

**Author's Note:**

> I had 1 bad idea based off of [this tweet](https://twitter.com/PettyNegr0/status/1002345388823732225)

To whom it may concern,

 

This is a letter regarding my resignation from Vesuvia Incorporated. As of [whatever date here], in 2 days time, I will not be an employee at your company.

 

Now, I know a good question that you may be asking is “Why are you leaving?”, but I feel that if I have to answer this question, I would never get this letter done, and a more concise question is “Why have I stayed this long?”, the answer being something you and I both already know Mr.Count.

 

However, the reasons that I am reasoning for leaving are simple and small compared to the actual list. I could talk about how although you physically don’t reach 6 feet, your ego is an easy 12, or your tendencies to either scream, punch or run away from anything that gives you the barest bit of a challenge like the ashy bitch that you are, but those are really internal character traits, and I have dealt with people who have had those same problems without being absolute nightmares. 

 

No, the reasons I have for leaving is how horridly you treat your staff, and how much power you give your lover- I mean vice president, Valerius, a known daytime, nighttime, evening-time, and all the time drinker, who has said on (TV interviews and) camera that he “regrets ever sleeping with you” and that you “grossly overestimate your talents”, both of which, might I remind you, have very little place to be talked about in the office. Although now that I think about it,having had to go through a traumatic experience like that over and over again like Valerius, I should have binged drink and overshared about it too. You really have no skills, and there are zero positives to sharing a bed with you.

 

As for the way you treat your staff, we merely have to look up from our respective computer monitors: you, to fire someone for breathing too hard on your (fake) Dolce and Gabbana suit, and me, to have to write out that person’s dismissal slip while referring them to your ex-wife’s much lovelier business across town where my professional and dare I say it, romantic life will relocate to.

 

In the end, Lucio, I’m glad to say I’ll be leaving you, your fake HR representative Valdemar, your horrid corporate sponsor Vulgora, your caterer who food poisons half of the office Volta, and your creepy and unnecessary bouncer Vlastomil. You are not as important as you think you are, and the only changes that you have made to the company lies on the sunburn you have after not closing your office windows, your off-key rendition of “Woe is Me” saving time by preemptively canceling company karaoke night, and that one day you decided to talk in a different language, to absolutely no one’s benefit.

 

Concluding my resignation, and knowing that half of the words you have just read left you too angry to comprehend the other half, here is a quick summation of my letter, plus a few extra points:

  1. You are not the sun in the sky, and we do not revolve around you. If you were a star, you would have already exploded.
  2. Your underlings are undesirable and honestly unneeded.
  3. You are not good in bed. Or in your office. Or anywhere for that matter.
  4. I say number 3 having been the side piece to not one, but 2 relationships and I have made piece with both of them before you even talked to the first person you cheated on.
  5. It’s ironic your favorite season is summer when your only change in character is the sunburn you get after looking out the window.
  6. Fall upon your (fake) sword in the office, it’s far less lethal than what you’ve just read.
  7. I’m only sad about all of this in the simple fact that the name of this company will follow me around on my resume almost as badly as you follow around Valerius in pity.
  8. Your company is as shit as your close cropped hair, I’m the person who made sure your pants split at the district meeting, and I counted a good 96% of your meetings could have been emails. Good day sir, and good riddance.



 

Sincerely (fuck you),

 

Mihail Braithwaite.


	2. Per My Last Email

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Social Media gets brought into this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on replies: count the number of ^'s, 1 is a directly reply to op, and the other ones under that is a thread

**@TheTiredtTailor(Mihail)**

I want fucking smoke!!   
_ 1 Reply - 20 Likes - 25 Retweets _

**^@TheTiredtTailor**

And the gag is I can’t even tell y’all until it’s resolved omg.

**^^@THEHOODORACLE**

why not king?

**^^^@TheTiredtTailor**

Girl, it’s messy.  woochild.jpg

  
  


**@TheTiredtTailor**

I need all the cute cat videos in the world rn.

_ 3 Replies - 14 Likes - 20 Retweets _

**^@honeybunny(Lilliana)**

Got you mihail!  catdump.jpg

**^@Vatn_G(Vatn)**

I really want to know why you need them…

**^^@TheTiredtTailor**

You’ll find out as soon as you change your @ Vatn.

 

**@ghostly-seahorse(Seth)**

Hey, why is  **@TheTiredtTailor** ’s timeline a mess?

_ 20 Replies - 12 Likes - 20 Retweets _

**^@TheTiredtTailor**

After reading every single theory thread on this tweet, I have come to the conclusion that one(1) of you is right.

**^^@mirasol_daffy(Atem)**

Let me guess, it’s  **@mandrakeblackaert  
**   
**^^^@mandrakeblackaert(Octav)**

No, boyfriend privileges only go so far… maybe  **@WanderingMagic** ?

**^^^^@WanderingMagic(Asra)**

I wish. Why would you @ me anyway?

**^^^^^@TheTiredtTailor**

No reason, right Octav?  
  
**^^^^^^@mandrakeblackaert**

noneofmybusinesskermit.jpg

 

**@mandrakeblackaert**

Okay, I’m honestly concerned, Mihail hasn’t looked up from his laptop in two hours.

_ 12 Replies - 45 Likes - 20 Retweets _

**^@Vatn_G**

Which plan do we use?

**^^@honeybunny**

I like plan 17A, it’s nice but effective

**^^^@mirasol_daffy**

28F turns off his computer though. It’s just a more permanent solution

**^@SingASong(Orpheus)**

_ #GetMihailOffThePhone _

**^@DoctorDoctor**

Is this the same Mihail you were talking about  **@WanderingMagic** ?

**^^@WanderingMagic**

Portia please come get your brother.

 

**@TheTiredtTailor**

I have spent the whole day with this damn pushpin in my side and it is still annoying me, when I’m done I want my eggs fucking scrambled.

_ 2 Replies - 35 Likes - 50 Retweets _

**^@honeybunny**

Like, the food?

**^^@TheTiredtTailor**

If you don’t know I can’t tell you.

**^@roll2d20(Veas)**

That’s a mood.

 

**@Royalty(Nadia)**

Someone please inform  **@TheG.O.A.T** that he is banned from the premises.

_ 3 Replies - 300 Likes - 346 Retweets _

**^@WanderingMagic**

Is there some way to extend the area he’s banned from?

**^^@DoctorDoctor**

I wonder why you would want to do that…

**^^^@WanderingMagic**

On second thought, is there a way we can ban Julian too?

**^@TheG.O.A.T(Lucio)**

I’m appealing this ban

**^^@TheTiredtTailor**

You and what army, bitch?

 

**@DoctorDoctor**

I’m just saying, three people are being very oblivious about each other and it’s very dumb to watch.

_ 14 Replies - 150 Likes - 100 Retweets _

**^@TheTiredtTailor**

Oi  **@PortitianPls** come get your out of pocket brother before I get to him.

**^^@PortitianPls(Portia)**

This is just proving his point

**^@WanderingMagic**

**@ManintheWoods** do you see his audacity?!

**^^@ManintheWoods(Muriel)**

… 

**^@mandrakeblakeaert**

I have no idea what you’re talking about

**^^@DoctorDoctor**

Sure you don't.

 

**@TheTiredtTailor**

I had time today motherfucker

_ 20 Replies - 328 Likes - 475 Retweets _

[Attachment: " **@TheTiredtTailor(Mihail)** \- I want fucking smoke!", The first email to Lucio, a replying email from Lucio, a second email from Mihail.

 

The replying letter reads:

 

"Oh my goodness, I can’t believe your leaving the company because you’re thirsting over some people at Noddy’s place. The IT guy and bike courier aren’t even that cute, but whatever floats your boat I guess. As for all your points, they are unfounded with no proof, and our employee policy dictates that proof must be given for all reasons before resigning, therefore, you are still an employee at Vesuvia Incorporated. 

 

I hope to see you back at work on Monday.

 

Thank you,

 

Lucio."

  
  


Mihail’s second email reads:

 

"To Lucio’s dumbass self,

 

I honestly cannot believe that after that email, you still refuse to understand why even a fly won’t work for your greasy, illiterate ass. I would spend more time talking about how the tattoos on your face make you look like a highway that needs repainting, but since you need proof, allow me to give it to you.

 

  1. On how you treat your staff
    1. You caused 5 people to cry in twenty minutes
    2. You then caused 6 people to cry in four
    3. I once wore slim fit slacks and you said I need to wear less flattering clothes
    4. Valerius has literally showed up in his tacky ass boxers and not only was he not reprimanded, you fired a person who accidentally walked in on you two
    5. Valdemar is at best incompetent at any HR position, and is at worse knowingly abusive
    6. This is them assigning numbers to all the workers and robbing them of their human dignity btw.
    7. Volta scored a fucking D- in the state health exam and you still let her work here, while you eat a packed lunch
  2. On your inability to separate your love-life from your business life
    1. Valerius’ work records compared to the people you fired
    2. Valerius’ inspection records (Yes, he averages out to a C)
    3. Valerius’ position history (Yes, that’s a raise or a promotion every two months)
    4. Benefits I got while dating you
    5. Benefits I lost after dumping you
    6. Benefits I further lost after I started dating Octav
    7. Proof I got over **your** relationships (Consensually posted of course)
    8. Proof that although I may be slightly thirsty, you are a parched man in a desert
    9. In regards to evidence 1d, really, the fucking breakroom? Janitor’s closet? I’m not even going to ask how you got into the vending machine you nasties
  3. If you simply feel like continuing this further:
    1. A friendly reminder that I have every single legal document I need in court, and that ‘bike courier’ as you so elegantly put it is also one of the best lawyers in the area, dumbass.
    2. Also, fuck your companies legal history and it’s privacy.
    3. This is only the first 400, the others are only released for public use a year after their decision date.
    4. Here’s a link that will update itself
  4. In conclusion
    1. Here’s your evidence
    2. Here’s a reason why any attempt to refute this is worthless
    3. Here is Asra’s email address if you want to continue this
    4. And here is my invoice for wasting my fucking time with the likes of your ashy and nasty scalp. You have till Monday to pay it



 

Try again next time,

 

Mihail Braithwaite"]

 

**^@TheTiredtTailor**

That’s why I wanted smoke btw.

**^^@THEHOODORACLE**

Tea was served!

**^@Petty_Negr0**

Mihail, I’mma need you to stop

**^^@TheTiredtTailor**

Tell them not to start then, Shahem.

**^@DoctorDoctor**

Holy shit.

**^^@Royalty**

I knew I liked him for some reason.

 

**@TheG.O.A.T**

I’m just here to say that everything said by  **@TheTiredtTailor** is not true, and that all of his evidence is shaky at best.

_ 324 Replies - 26 Likes - 4 Retweets _

**^@TheTiredtTailor**

I’m fucking tired, but I’ll comment just to watch you get ratioed to death

**^@Vatn_G**

Hope you drown fucker

**^@WanderingMagic**

Lucio, I hope you’re aware that I’m using this tweet when we go to trial for a mistrial factor.

**^@mandrakeblakeaert**

Fuck you, and fuck your company

**^@Ira(Ira)**

Can I sue you to for emotional distress by threatening my child?  
  
**^^@TheTiredtTailor**

Yes. Yes you can dad.

  
  


**@TheTiredtTailor**

Can someone please tell me why I nearly got fucking arrested at my own house?

_ 12 Replies - 6 Likes - 7 Retweets _

**^@TheTiredtTailor**

I’M FUCKING TIRED OF YOU LUCIO, YOU’RE SHIT AND SO IS YOUR BEDROOM GAME.

**^^@TheTiredtTailor**

FUCKING CALLING THE COPS, LIKE I WON’T SUE YOU FOR A MALICIOUS PROSECUTION TORT DUMBASS

**^^^@TheTiredtTailor**

In other news, my resume is here. I’m a freelancer that’s good at tailoring, politics, and law, and am currently under the grace of one **@Royalty** able to take multiple jobs while still technically being on her payroll…

**^^^^@TheTiredtTailor**

If I’m gonna get attention for sticking it to a horrible person, I’m plugging myself, I don’t care if it looks tacky, it’s my money he’s wasting anyway.

 

**@mandrakeblakeaert**

First day at work together!  Cuties.jpg

[It’s a picture of Mihail, Octav, and Asra all smiling at the camera together]

_ 54 Replies - 126 Likes - 125 Retweets _

**^@PortitianPls**

**@roll2d20** that’ll be 50 gold

**^^@roll2d20**

Sending it now.

**^@DoctorDoctor**

FINALLY

**^^@WanderingMagic**

Ilya, I seem to remember you like a very quiet person…

**^^^@DoctorDoctor**

SHUT YOUR FUCK

**^@TheTiredtTailor**

Aww, babes… <3

**^^@WanderingMagic**

<3

**^^^@mandrakeblakeaert**

… … <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [PettyNegr0's account](https://twitter.com/PettyNegr0)   
>  [MADBLACKTHOT's temporary account](https://twitter.com/madblackthot2)
> 
> Both are funny, at least to me.


End file.
